A Twins Identity

For most of us, we develop our own identity, personality and style easily, but what about identical twins? A twins identity is much more difficult. From the moment they are born, they are seen as a pair, yet they are two very different, unique individuals. The world sees them as the same on the surface, yet they have many differences in personality, style and thoughts.

My twins never dress the same, apart from their coats, only because there was no other option at the time of buying.

However, they do share their clothes, which does mean they have similar styles. Even though they share clothes, they still like to display their individuality.

For example, Boo often prefers skirts to dresses and rarely thinks to do her t-shirt buttons up, while Pinky likes dresses and always insists on doing every button up on her school t-shirt, yes, even the awkward top button.

One is very neat and tidy, while the other is more laid back. They are trying to find their own style and identity.

Many people struggle to tell my twins apart. To me they look completely different, but to others, they don’t. At school, most of their close friends know who is who, but not all.

Pinky and Boo have a new teacher (again). This week, he pulled me aside to ask if they could wear something to make them identifiable. Initially I didn’t have a problem with this, teachers need to be able to identify their pupils. However, on reflection, it is not as clear-cut as it seems.

I asked Pinky to wear a headband every day. That’s fine, she often likes wearing them and agreed. However, the first day of headband wearing threw up a problem… Boo wanted to wear one too.

It was very hard to explain to a 5-year-old, she can’t wear a headband any more, not because it’s banned, but purely because the teacher needs to identify you without a headband. She really didn’t understand…”if Pinky can wear one, why can’t I?”

I can see her point, she wants to be able to choose each day, chop and change her style. Some days she likes to wear a headband while others she doesn’t. Other children are allowed to choose their hair style, etc, so why can’t she??

I feel quite cruel insisting on the headband wearing, but I can see how the teacher needs to be able to identify them.

How do twins find their identity, when they are constantly hit with these sorts of hurdles? A twins identity can be so difficult for them to find.